20th

(Insert text about birthday/saturday night here. Feeling way to sick at the moment. UGH.)
(Inserts text on June 27, 2011.)

OK. I'll start from the morning of my birthday.

I woke up and got ready to get my dresses altered and steamed pressed. The floral dress needed alterations for High Tea at Duxton Hotel and the red dress needed to be steamed pressed for the night out. I went around to buy last minute things within the hour of waiting for them. 10:45am dresses were done, went home got changed and ready for the High Tea. I left the house at 12pm but I didn't get there until 1pm because I was stuck in traffic, stupid traffic. The High Tea was lots of fun even though 3 of the girls attended. I enjoyed it and it was relaxing.. by the time I left and got home it was almost 4pm.

My parents and I went to pick up my cousin to go to dinner at Sizzlers Innaloo at 5pm. I think that's when I started feeling downhill. We didn't sit down to eat until 5:30pm, I didn't have much of an appetite which was BAD, felt drained, tired and a bit light headed too. Things started to feel rushed and I wasn't feeling too good. My sister-in-law didn't even fit in a drink of water let alone dessert because she was trying to sort out movie tickets etc for us to watch Cars 2 at 6:15/6:30pm. I had planned to fall asleep during the movie but it was just too good, I loved the movie! It finished around.. 8:30pm and we got home around 9pm or just before. I got changed, touched up on the eyeliner and mascara, then the girls came over. We called a taxi that came 15 minutes later which was like wtf. My hair was half done and the taxi driver pressed the horn, sigh.. this was when my heart started to beat faster, I really dislike being rushed.

Left the house around 9:30ish, got to the city around 10pm. (photos, a bit of double black Smirnoff that I hate, some more photos) Got into the club around 11pm. VIP entry, cloak room - my wrist band number was 19. I had turned 20 but the number 19 meant something else, something more than turning 20. The little things.. that mean a lot to you.

Drink #1. Some shaker? Split between myself and 6 of the girls.

Drink #2. Hand grenade shot. Gave the loose one to M cos she didn't have one, so I just had the drop in one with the glass. We went to the dance floor and it was a good start, I was feeling fine.

Drink #3. One tequila.

Drink #4. Two tequila. We went to the toilets again to wash up? Hands were gross from the salt/tequila/lemon. Went to the toilets a bit after for photos, E and I had to go home so we all hugged and said our goodbyes to them. Went to the benches on the left side of the stage, I think that's when I starting to feel a little bit tipsy.. bestie and M stopped to talk to their friends, S and I (as in myself) were ahead of them and turned back to see what took them so long. We sat down next to them, the three girls were talking to the other 2 friends of theirs while I was bored out of my brains and looking around. Looking around and spotted that certain someone. Me being me at the time, freaked out and ran away down the stairs wanting more drinks. Tipsy going on drunk with mixed emotions. I was happy and sad, hopeful and hurting. I ran away to avoid being seen as vulnerable and emotional. Drinking away to drown my sorrows.. that I've been wanting to drown for awhile.

Drink #5. Bacardi 151. I believe this was the first one because the bestie had bought it.. someone pushed her and her drink spilt a bit on me. Random happy birthdays from a few friends that were around me at the time. Then I think that was when I saw the certain someone's best friend, who has the same birthday as me, said happy birthday to me as well as his/their other friends. Tongue twister lol. Yeah so it was the certain someone's best friend's 21st birthday and we agreed to have a birthday shot. I saw you (you as in that certain someone) in the background amongst it all.

Drink #6. Bacardi 151. Happy birthday!!! And then things went fuzzy. The emotional roller-coaster had begun. From being happy drunk, to sad drunk, angry drunk, emotional drunk. Somewhere in between I saw you (you as in that certain someone) and I tried to grab your attention (literally) by yanking your hoodie and managed to get one or both arms around you. It all happened so fast, it was a nanosecond hug until one of the girls pulled me away. I had missed you so much but that hopeful feeling had disappeared before it happened when I was pulled away. I remember saying "I hate him" and crying at the same time. Lies because as much as the alcohol and anger made me want to think it, I knew in my heart that it wasn't true. The girls then taking me to the toilets and I was in the corner of the disabled toilets crying, repeatedly saying "I hate him, I hate him, but I don't, I hate the fact that I don't hate him because I still love him, I love him." I fell to my knees and they told me to get up. (Supportive words here). I got up and we went back to the dance floor, I remember dancing away then we got off when Party Rock Anthem was on. I was not happy about that because I liked that song!

Drink #7. Water. At the benches on the left side of the stage, I had a few sips, put the glass on the table behind us and then threw up three times. Got the girls' shoes and/or legs. Gross. They took me to the toilets and we were at the one in the end. They were holding back my hair as I was still throwing up a bit more, it was liquid bile then just saliva. They were trying to convince me to go home I remember bestie holding my phone, yelling "you're too drunk to stay here, you're emotional, you need to go home". Too drunk to stay, ok. Need to go home, ok. Emotional?? ARGH, I told her the day after that that annoyed me when she said that >:( But yeah, she had good intentions and wanted me to go home sigh. I was a mess.

Left the club just before 2am I think. K took me home which was like so random, I checked my phone the next morning and realised that bestie had messaged him to take me home. It should've been one of them that had taken me home or at least gone with me.. Thank goodness I didn't throw up in his car, my body kept wanting to throw up though and he had to stop a couple of times.. still nothing came out though until I had a drink of water the next morning. Eww. I was bed ridden all day and couldn't eat much, my stomach was aching and my throat was sore too.

In conclusion, next year for my 21st I will not drink until the point of being drunk like a skunk. Then see photos of myself red-faced and gone off my face, on facebook the next day. (how sad/embarrassing/gross/disgusting/remove post and untag). Perhaps I should spread things out and not have it planned all in the one day, or just have only one thing planned. I hope that I don't have to plan it next year, I want a surprise birthday next year. My 20th birthday this year sucked because I had no birthday cake and because I wasn't able to share it with you.