Four months on.

I have to say that it's been a while since I've posted a deep thought/long post. Lately it's been one line angry sad person posts so I think it's time for the real stuff. It's the last week of uni for me and I'm trying to prioritise my time with study, work and other things. Three weeks until my last exam, kind of scary and exciting at the same time..

I went out on Saturday after a friend's birthday party and met up with the bf, and my, that night was so much fun. It's probably been one of the best night's I've had out clubbing. I wonder why we don't go out together more often, it's so much fun when I'm with him. It's always those nights where I don't plan to go out and end up going out just out of spontaneity or because he's going. I think it's been two or three times that we've been out together.. wait, yes three and it's been the best, because I'm with him! (and I'm sober too!)

It was never like this before, it was just one person or the other but not both. I guess we change as we grow in the relationship. I know I've grown with him and as a person for the better. I know that I've done wrong and have hurt him to the point of heartache, but I am and will keep on trying to make it right. He is my everything. He really is my everything - everything that I want and need. I love him so much. I am so lucky to have him as my boyfriend, partner, lover, best friend.

Man.. I was such a stupid 18 year old, being 18 was probably the worst time of my life. I was so naive, so stupid and careless. Stupid 18 year old thought she could do anything because she was 18 and legal, mother f er slap that bitch in the face! When I turned 19 it was 50/50, ups and downs here and there, periods where I was very happy and very sad. The year where there was a lot of decision making. Turning 20 was like wow. Four months on and I feel like I've become more responsible and that I've found myself, the me that I was when I was younger - as in the one with morals and beliefs, who knew what she wanted, what she believed in and what she stands for. My 20th birthday was not the best but everyday after that, it's been getting better and I feel like I'm making sense of everything again. I hope that the rest of my days being 20 are like what they are now.

There is still more that I need to learn.